You Know You Spend Too Much Time on Twitter When…

In recognition of the fact that lately I’ve been neglecting my blog in favor of Twitter, I am doing penance with a bit of humor.

You know you spend too much time on Twitter when…

… you start calling your family things like @Dad or @Rachky in conversations.

… you only speak in short bursts of 140 characters and self-edit to use synonyms with fewer letters.

… you make decisions about what you’ll have for lunch based on how interesting it will sound on Twitter.

… you find yourself thinking up new Alltop topics in the hopes of getting Kawasakied.

… you make a new offline friend and announce to all your other friends that you’re just 2 people short of having 200 friends.

… your swear word of choice is “TweetJeebus!”

… your Twitter followers know you are pregnant before your husband does.

… throughout the day you compose tweets in your head about what you’re doing, even if you are nowhere near your computer.

… during a Twitter outage, you compulsively hit “refresh” every three seconds hoping this will be the time it will come back on.

… most of your email is now either direct messages or new follower notifications.

… you don’t feel the need to go to a conference in person anymore because someone else is livetweeting it.
… you get all your news from @BreakingNewsOn.

… you find yourself referring to the telephone’s pound key as a ‘hashtag.’

… you have no idea what’s going on in your friends’ lives unless they are on Twitter.

… you give people your personal website address as a TinyURL.

… you can’t hear what someone says to you and you say, “Could you please retweet that?”

These things, of course, do not apply to me. What would you add?

Photo Credit: sarahkim


  1. search tool of choice is not more google. Its Tweetscan, twibuzz and summarize

  2. …you tweet your apology for closing Twitter since you “must try to get some actual work done.”

  3. You are informed that you have an $800 BB bill for the month because you are only now discovering that your office has not paid for an unlimited text plan and you’re considering asking @scobleizer to pitch in because at least half of those really expensive tweets came from him.

    Not that I am bitter or anything. 😉

  4. you nabbed it – kind of scary how universally applicable those are to so many people!
    I would add the following:
    …you check your twitter replies before you check your email each morning
    and …you stop calling your family by phone because you figure they already know every minute detail of your life through your tweets 🙂

  5. You come to posts like this hoping for more twitter hints, and now I’m following breakingnews…

  6. -You metatweet about twittering
    -you blog about twitters about blogs (etc.)
    -You meet people in real life who you recognize from twitter

  7. You realize that you have made a point to download a desktop Twitter application (ie Twhirl) and you move seamlessly from writing an email to responding to a reply or DM, then back to the email.

    Instead of telling someone you will email them you mention that you will send them a DM

  8. so so true….and I never thought this would apply to me.

    Here’s one…

    You shut down your computer when think you are done for the day…but then find yourself Twittering from your Blackberry later (even in the dark sometimes, just because you can).

  9. Dear Nedra, I don´t Know if you received my e-mail, I´m from Brazil. I work at Instituto Ethos, and I´m studying social marketing in my masters degree. I bought your book and I would like to know if I could discuss my work with you, just the main idea! My email is
    Thank you
    Best Regards,

  10. This gave me a great laugh for the day! So true…lol Thanks Nedra =)

    …or when u get ur boyfriend to sign up for twitter and then ask him why he never DMs you…

    not that I did that or nething… 😉

  11. hilarious….here’s mine.

    …watch your two year old daughter, waiting for a “tweetable” moment.

    …find yourself “twiggling” throughout the day at the hilarious links people tweet.

    …completely feel as if you have missed something – if you dropped off twitter for more than 2 hours.

    Thank you – realize now I am completely…addicted.

  12. Funny piece! ‘Cause i can totally relate.
    I plan cool stuff to do the next day just so I can post them on Twitter.
    LJ Licaros
    Comprehensive resources for those looking for recovery from addiction.

  13. Ok, I actually covered my face in embarrassment on some of these knowing they soooo applied to me. How about this one:

    You ask the Vegas hotel security guard to hang on a second so you can get out a tweet about how you are concerned that he might be escorting you out 🙂

Submit a Comment